I’m sure you’ve all heard of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Now we have Redilocks, a ten-year-old with flaming red hair. She was Maureen O’Hara and Lucille Ball all wrapped into one, a ravishing beauty.
On a dark and dreary day in late November, Redilocks was on a mission in a nearby forest. She was on her way to Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother’s cozy cabin to deliver some tasty cookies and cupcakes. Normally, Red Riding Hood would be making this jaunt, but she had come down with a nasty head cold and was feeling miserable. Redilocks volunteered to deliver the sweet treats for her. Riding Hood couldn’t thank her enough. After all, they were very close friends.
Shortly after entering the forest, Redilocks noticed some movement in a mulberry bush, and just a few seconds later, a wolf in sheep’s clothing jumped out at her, snarling with its drooling, razor-sharp teeth. “You can’t fool me, you snarling, sniveling wolf, wearing that ridiculous disguise!” And with that remark, she reached for the sheep’s head and yanked the mendacious outfit off with such force, it sent the wolf crashing to the ground. In an instant the wolf’s expression changed from menacing to meekness, and it prompted a sincere apology from the naughty canine.
Redilocks accepted the wolf’s apology and invited him to join her on her journey. The wolf gladly accepted and promised to behave himself. In fact, he assured her that he would protect her from any dangers that may be lurking about.
Thirty-five minutes later, the pair finally reached Grandmother’s quaint cottage. She was sitting on her front porch, rocking away. Spread before her on a card table were a pot of hot tea, three cups and saucers, a bowl of sugar, several slices of lemon, and some strawberry scones. With Riding Hood’s sweet treats and Grandmother’s scones, the threesome was in for a sumptuous feast. As they munched away at the deliciousness, they carried on a pleasant conversation.
A little over an hour later, it was time for Redilocks and her companion to move on. Grandmother thanked them for stopping by and wished them safe travels. The wolf guaranteed it, much to Redilock’s relief. There was no yellow brick road for the twosome to follow; only a dirt path that was frequently used by hikers and hunters.
A short time later, Redilocks and the wolf arrived at a large clearing in the forest. Assembled in the clearing were three homes; one made of straw, one constructed of wood, and one erected with bricks. On each front porch there was a mid-sized pig, each drinking chocolate malted milkshakes. When they caught sight of the wolf, each pig made a mad dash for their front door, but Redilocks gestured them to stay put. There was no danger, and when the three pigs saw no snarling, no licking of the chops, they were convinced that they were in no peril. Using pig Latin, she was able to converse with the porkers, briefing them about her mission with the wolf. The pigs were impressed with Redilocks’ relationship with the wolf, and they had no qualms about inviting the pair to socialize any time. They gladly accepted.
The return to Riding Hood’s home was uneventful. The wolf pranced proudly in front of Redilocks, keeping a watchful eye in all directions. He would lay down his life for her should he deem it necessary. Without question, Reynaldo, the moniker that she had lovingly bestowed upon him, was falling in love with her. But how can a wolf fall in love with a human being? By wearing a man’s clothing, of course!
